Once upon a time there was a giant. He had three heads, and he lived in a BRASS CASTLE!
Well, anyways, all that was beside the purpose, if you take my meaning. What I meant was here are all the presents I made! (that was obvious) At any rate, first are Dad's stocking stuffers:
An A.T. C.-size painting of the nativity and a crocheted dishrag. Dishrags make great gifts, but they are boring, absurd or even contemptible.
For Jonathan, I made this small wooden plaque. (Y' know: J. M. K.) (M as in Michael) Shiny, ain't it?
Here are Mother's S.S.s.The one thing was meant to be an Icon but isn't very. Too bad. Also a rubber stamp I carved o' St. Anthony (just what she always wanted)(for the purpose of stamping envelopes, parcels, etc.)(it's stuck to a wooden block to be more decorative)(what's the deal with putting things in parenthesis?)(?).
This is Jonathan's other S.S.: A book with the words t' Waltzing Matilda in elvish in a dittle book. Complete with illustrations of swagman, jumbuck, tuckerbag, matilda, and troopers. And the paper is aged with watercolours! For Josiah, I painted this watercolour bookmark with a quotation from the story Master of all Masters. And that blue thing in the bottom left-hand corner is another book in elvish, The Rattlin' Pass (just a variant).The thing about that one was that, as the verses got longer and longer, my writing was obliged to become smaller and smaller. Velly intelesting.
I made a bookmark for Lydia, too. Hers is more epic, though. Besides being drawn with pen-and-ink, alliterative poetry (and magoific at that!) is just infinitely superior to barnacles and such, in my opinion. We heard of the horns in the hills ringing... Anyways I also gave Lydia this little sketchbook I made.
Mary Rose's S.S.s: Merry Rows wanted a picture of Imrahil like unto the one I drew back in 1492, so I painted this for her. Too bad most of his banner isn't in the shot. But the black paint made of purple and green is pretty convincing, don't you think? I made her that bracelet, too, but it is nothing of consequence.
So, on to Eliza's! Wow, two presents made with the sewing machine, and they weren't failures, or even semi-failures! The mittens are made out of a wool sweater, and the headband isn't (that was obvious). Anyone can see it was made from decorative ribband and white stuff).
I gave Kateri a sketchbook like Lydia's, only different (the kind you whip up on the sew-machine). And a Z. the S. G. peg doll. Nhg.
For Mother and Dad I crocheted a couple o' black wool sparfs.
Mum's has a ruffle, but Da's doesn't.
I didn't even know what t' give Jonathan until Christmas eve! A scribbled-on tea-cup! Unfortunate thing: some of the stars have six points and some have seven. Untidy.
I also viciously chopped up another wool sweater and put it together the wrong way. It ended up looking sort of like a Knightcap, so I gave it to Josiah, even though he ain't rilly a knight.
Lyd's M.P. was this glumpy apron made out of a sheet. It is terribly unepic, alas, alack!
I gave M. R. a wood plak (wow, bad spelling!) o' St. Cecelia: this one is woodburned and watercoloured both at once! You may notice that the halo is crooked and the harp is igsty, but we waive that point... (bother, I already used that quote in some other post).
For Kateri I painted a full-colour map o' Narnia, as she has become somewhat obsessed with that place of late. Lots easier than Middle Earth, but not as spiffy.---- --- -- ------- -- --, ---?
I gave Eliza a puppy dog for no apparent reason other than I wanted to make one. Zowie, people thought I was off my chump for buying such a strange sweater as I did (it looked like a thneed!) (fuzzy brown stuff to make the puppy out of)
Well, that's all the presents I made. Only twenty-four.
So, you see, Bilbo had come in the end by the only road that was any good.
Posted by A. R. B.